Black Lace Dress


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I think most women can relate to this…

 

I have this black lace dress that was very expensive. I wore it once. I bought it for my trip with my boyfriend (at the time) to Canada. I take it with me when I travel now just in case I end up needing it.

But I can never get myself to wear it again.

It looks beautiful on me. That’s not the reason I can’t get myself to wear it. The reason I don’t wear it is I wore it with him and it became the center of attention. Just to see it now, hurts. I wore it in Vancouver, the last night we were there. The night he was supposed to try & make up for ditching me the prior two nights. Yes, I was fooled into believing he cared & really wanted to be with me that last night. Love blinded me & I took what little attention he gave me that night and made myself as beautiful as I could for a broken woman. I held my head high, like a fool. I pranced around, full of myself because he was seemingly interested. I have many pictures of that night and of me in that dress. Even though I had a great time and made the best of it – looking back on those images now is so very painful. I don’t know how I managed to keep myself together. I still don’t know how I do it now. I don’t know why I hang on. I get nearly nothing from him.

I am not sure what I should do about that dress. Maybe I should wear it out with friends. Make new memories in it. Maybe I should toss it in the garbage and try to forget. I know from my past experiences, if I wear something out and my outing becomes emotional, the outfit sits in my closet for all eternity. Too emotional to throw out & too emotional to wear again. I’m not going to let that happen this time…or at least not continue to happen. I’ll wear it this weekend. And make new memories in it.

 

 

2 Comments

  1. I love exhibitionism in a woman, and you are very sexy ehibitionist. But this is a given I suppose, and a quite obvious observation. What of you strikes me instead is your being an exhibitionist of your soul, and of your inner world, which is deep, despite all your efforts to exhibit it as shallow. A kiss and a pinch

    Like

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