a 5-pack of Bic lighters




After 13 months devoted to this guy, this is what I get for a Christmas gift.

This, a magazine rack and a bottle of red wine, personally signed by him!

I realize we had a rough year but my fucking gawd, can a person be anymore insensitive?

Only 2 weeks before he’d mentioned buying me a ring for Christmas.

Guess he meant the smoke rings.


Then that day I popped in on him and that man in his bedroom,

he said I couldn’t see what was on his computer because it was the ordering information for my Christmas gift.

I didn’t realize you had to order the 5 packs of lighters from the internet these days?


Integrity has become the one trait that anyone I have a relationship with must possess.

I’m seeing that more & more people that are in my life are lacking that trait.


The past year was all a big joke on me.

What I gained from it though is insight in myself.


I’ve moved on now.

I’m dating.

I’m able to laugh genuinely again.

The tears stopped after I let go & let myself feel someone new.


I’m not going to hurry into anything anymore.

I’m going to accept invitations without worrying about anyone but me.

I’m going to invite without worry.

I’m still going to love deeply and wear my feelings on my sleeve because that’s just who I am.



I hope this is the last sad posting, especially with regards to ****.

The comments I’ve gotten from everyone have been a huge help to me.

Validation I guess.

Thank you.

I find it funny that **** never commented or tried to state his side of the story here.

He knows it’s all true and reading it in black & white must make his skin crawl.

What goes around, comes around.




9 responses to “a 5-pack of Bic lighters”

  1. Way to go relent im proud of you for getting rid of such an insensitive man. You deserve so much better then that. I hope that you will someday find that special someone that will love and respect you the way that you deserve. Jerry


  2. definetelly the class touch was the bottle wine PERSONALLY signed by him … grin.
    Happiness is inside us I never expect anything from ouside …. anymore.
    Always glad to see you on cam


  3. Get this!

    His response to getting the magazine rack back was:

    “If I had known I would be getting my gift back, I would have bought you something better”



  4. Great reading your blog. Not only for the subject matter but for the writing itself. Mind if I come back often? …. Never compromise, never give in and value honesty, integrity and loyalty above all 😉

    Be good to yourself!


  5. if 5 lighters is all he could think of then you are way better off without him. Even if it was 5 red roses….that would have been better. I am hoping that 2007 brings more to life for you. Im sure it will, bouncing back is a good quality to have. might chat sometime in jmeet. All the best. Alex x


  6. I’m still ‘reeling’ – your frankness is refreshing / shocking / compelling.
    I’ve taken the liberty of adding your blog to my own blogroll despite our very different subject matter – please don’t hesitate to let me know if you wish me to remove the link.

    kindest regards,

    – Solo xx


  7. Good – I’m glad to hear you are feeling more positive. Inside each of us there’s a diamond hard core of essential, invincible Self that enables us to find ourselves again after pain and hurt threaten to bring it all crashing down; I’m glad to see you have found yours.

    All the best, Relentless Goddess. 🙂


  8. Patric aka Racoon Avatar
    Patric aka Racoon

    Way to go Relent! Not the most serious gifts I’ve heard of by the way…take care and hope to see you soon, u know where. Hugs


  9. I couldn’t stand looking at that magazine rack any longer so – this morning on my way to work I left it in front of his house. He can have it. Both the wine & the lighters have been used up, otherwise he would have them back too.


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