1. Choose someone as though you were blind. Close your eyes and see
what you can FEEL; their kindness, loyalty, insight, devotion, their
ability to be concerned with you, their ability to care for themselves
as an independent being.
2. Choose a person who has the ability to learn, explore new ways of
doing things and perceiving things, who is curious, and who is
3. Choose someone who is willing to be like you….strong like a tree,
but flexible in the wind. Someone who is sensitive and who has the
ability to see what is around them……who is AWAKE and alert.
4. Choose someone who when you hurt them, they are willing to show
it; and when they hurt you, they see it and are sorry. Choose someone
who can perceive your pain and feel for you about it.
5. Choose someone who has an INNER LIFE that they love, who is on
their own journey – and who wants a partner on their own journey.
6. Choose someone who has similar passions as your own. A relationship
is for making similar memories together, doing things TOGETHER – this
is the GLUE of the relationship during hard times. It can be very
7. Choose someone who has similar VALUES about children, money,
marriage, family. This decreases the friction in relationship. These
need to be worked out before there is a long-term commitment. When the
pragmatics in the relationship are mostly taken care of, it is much
more easy to SOAR.
8. Choose someone who is COMPASSIONATE, willing and able to listen,
who gives equal time.
9. Choose someone who can LAUGH at themselves, or who can stop an
argument in mid-sentence.
10. Be able to overlook certain faults and characteristics. KNOW WHAT
YOU CAN LIVE WITH. Anything that takes a person away from their soul
life, or not telling the truth, or a person who cannot face you after
making a mistake and who tries to cover it over in a dramatic, large
way instead….this would be starting a relationship on a swamp
11. Be FRIENDS, not just lovers. Are you willing to do for your
partner what you would do for your good friend?
12. ****VERY IMPORTANT*****…When you choose, choose someone who
makes your life bigger rather than smaller.”