s e x u a l h a r a s s m e n t


A friend of mine was recently accused of sexually harassing a female coworker.

Ultimately he got fired because of it. He maintains that he’s innocent.

I have no reason not to believe him.

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During the ‘investigation’ stage when he was suspended from work until a conclusion was made, he & I talked over the phone about it. He was obviously angry and disappointed. The accuser was apparently making it all up for her own advancement and her general hatred and bitterness towards men. My friend was convinced that with his seniority and work ethic he’d get his position back. I told him it wouldn’t happen. Even if they had concrete evidence proving his innocence he was a memory to them and a lesson learned now. He argued with me because he was so sure of himself. No Corporation would risk the Civil Rights people and laws (don’t forget the women’s libbers!) on their back and would sweep out any person that stirred the kettle wrong. So they did.

In my opinion, I disagree with women having any management positions in business. Of all the places I’ve worked, the ones I hated were where a woman was a step up from me & a step down (or more) from the CEO/President/Owner. Don’t get me wrong, there are exceptions – but for the most part I feel that women are too emotional, catty, shallow, and bitter and tend to make another womans job performance a personal thing. Men don’t do that. At least not the ones I’ve dealt with.

And this sexual harassment stuff…I miss walking past a construction site & being whistled at. I miss hearing what those dirty construction workers’ want to do to me as a stroll past innocently (hahaha!!!). They should have made a law that the sexual comments made must always be positive ones. Don’t ban it altogether! What if I like to be sexually harassed as I sit at my desk? What if I like knowing my boss is looking down my shirt? What if I like to sexually harass my boss? What if I like knowing that the gorgeous shirtless sweaty carpenter that’s working at the remodel going on next to my favorite deli wants to have his way with me in his work truck? Sheesh! Some gal out there ruined it for the rest of us. Well, for me anyway.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I would never condone ‘real’ sexual harassment – the kind that is just gross and unwanted and negative. But c’mon? What’s wrong with the handsome owner strolling into your office and telling you he’d love to see you masturbating one of these days when he comes in? The both of you have a giggle and he leaves? Why can’t men just see it as an innocent flirt and not push it further? Why can’t women stand up for themselves and stop it before it goes too far? We’re all adults! No?

* Disclaimer: This post was not meant in any way to discount anyone’s personal experiences with sexual harassment. All people are different and this is merely MY opinion. Thank you and have a nice day. 

© Copyright 2007, r e l e n t l e s s

13 Comments

  1. Interesting discussion, and it sure would be nice if we all lived in that kind of world, in which attention that’s meant to be flattering is warmly received among reasonable people of good will who are also mutually attracted.

    But those are a lot of conditions. It’s rare that they’re all met simultaneously.

    No question that you are a beautiful and sexy woman. But suppose it’s something else? Suppose it’s some guy to whom you’re not attracted at all, 300 pounds, slovenly, unwashed, waiting around corners to surprise you with a quick grab of your ass or your breasts? Or that same guy coming up behind you to press his bulg against you to let you know how turned on you make him? (Remember, this is someone to whom you are not at all attracted.) Or trying to pin you in a corner of the file room and insistently attempting to kiss you? Or accompanying any of these with a threat, implicit or explicit, about how failure to reciprocate might affect your future with the company?

    Point is, not all attention is created equal. Nor is everyone attracted to everyone else (my God, we’d never get anything done!) In fact, we’re not attracted to or turned on by most of the people we meet. Good thing, too. That’s the world as it is, and beginning from there, no should mean no, and afirst, polite demurrer should be all that has to be said. (This is still among reasonable people of good will.) For whatever reason, though, it is not always enough. And that, sadly, is why these laws come up, sometimes to address situation that are long overdue for it. Most of us can read the signals from others, most of us behave appropriately, and most of us try to do what’s right. It greases the wheels and society functions better that way. But laws, alas, exist because not everyone will do the right or reasonable thing. Laws exist to protect the many from the few.

    I’m sorry for your friend. Perhaps he did get railroaded, perhaps not, I don’t know. Only two people know for sure. But remember this: when it comes to sex, lots of people are not what they project on the surface. Sometimes some ugly shit is being hidden, let out only when we think no one is looking. By whom? Well, again, only two people know for sure.

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  2. Ya, the writing/post was OK, but I really like the music you added to the page.

    Lonely Is The Night, By David Knopfler – Is a good one !

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  3. Hi, Relentless….this is your PI from across the Bay. Not only are you incredibly sensuous, you write well (I just wrote a detective novel coming out next month). By the way, 415-867-5309 is unlisted and not in the East Bay….hmmmm…

    Hope your wrist feels better. xxxooo

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  4. I liked this one…really good writing.
    It’s a difficult topic tho’…..the line between flirting and harassment can be really thin and it’s easy to say wrong things at the wrong time.
    There is a big debate and has been for quite some years in Sweden now about sexual harassment and where these lines are from a legal point of view…whats funny is that it’s always from womens points of view, never from a male perspective…
    And then female managers…I’ve seen good and bad but for me personally its easier to work with a male manager/boss…why?
    In my experiance a man is more direct and hasn’t got a hidden agenda…what u see or hear is what u get…but this is my experiance!

    Take care
    Coon

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  5. I sometimes wonder why I post comments here. I mean, you seem to have no shortage of admirers of my gender already, lol! I guess it’s your fab writing; always well thought out, intelligent, articulate and even sometimes refreshingly raw and dirty. It conveys the person you are very suitably.

    I enjoy a good flirt, always have. As a man I find it uplifting when you can flirt with a woman, especially one you actively desire. But it is tricky territory sometimes; more than once I’ve crossed a line I didn’t know was there and ruined things. A hard lesson to learn.

    As for female managers, my former boss was a delight and swiftly became my all-time best of my career. She was always fair and even-handed. Strict at times, but never in a mean way and went out of her way to treat people equally. Her replacement, a man…well, he tries but he’s got so much to learn himself: he actually worked with my previous boss for a time and I hoped that her style would rub off, but her departure freed him to act his own way, with predictably less-impressive results.

    I have however, worked with my fair share of complete BITCHES who get one little sniff of power and become real tyrants. THAT, I think, is the thing we have to watch out for in our working relationships, male or female.

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  6. I have a tremedous respect for women, but when I see a gorgeous babe I want her to know it…no malice intended…just honesty, and fun…the battle of the sexes will reign forever…it’s unfortunate that there are a bunch ladder climbers out there that just want to let the world know they have arrived…and then as a society we wonder why our youth, for the most part, are directionless, and always in trouble….fear not there are countless women out there that do the job of producing decient, productive human beings, all because of their nuturing, and they demand nothing..Thank you to all those wonderful women….and thank you for you Relentless…it’s a pleasure to know you…you can harass me any time..btw I love David Knopfler… (((((( relentless ))))) Drpill

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  7. Hi You!

    Once again a great read. Whether one agrees with your views or not your blog never fails to evoke passionate responses. I do note however that the majority of respondants tend to agree with your viewpoint on most topics and this makes me wonder if these are genuine or an attempt by the writer to ingratiate themselves (not that there’s a problem with that … each to their own).

    For my part I’ll continue to read (without passing judgement) because I enjoy reading the thoughts and views of intelligent, passionate and forthright people. I do have one request though…

    I often see you smiling, laughing and generally enjoying yourself. How about you let us in on those times (not just the online ones) so that we can smile and laugh along with you … just a thought 😉

    Take care!!

    BBS

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  8. Relentless, you grab me and pull me in to you with your almost hypnautic (get the pun hun?) style of writing. I think at times that I am in a incubator of desire.
    I once lost an incredible woman. It was my own fears that I could not face that led me down a self destructive path that led me to realize that the consequences of my actions were to feel the exact heart piercing pain that I had put her through.
    I felt that. It was excruciating. Only now (that I see your pain and tears smeared over these pages) do I take inventory of my actions. Thank you. Had I only the courage to really open that last ever so fragile fraction of my heart to her. Who knows? Was it her strength, beauty, animalistic passion that part of me was not sure that I could tame?
    God I miss her.
    She will remain in my soul for eternity, and I would sell my soul to know that she would forever be mine.
    I have a feeling that the man you lost may share my feelings.
    He lost a love of the ages.
    Be good!

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  9. i can definatley appreciate your point of view! Thank you for your “pull it out and give it to me now” honesty! It is very refreshing to know that there is one fine ass woman out there whos’ heart beats with such throbbing honesty when she feels what she feels when she sees what she sees when he does what he does……..

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  10. Interesting observations. How very un-PC of you … I like it. ;o)
    Personally, I think many women make excellent managers, however, as you’ve pointed out, they are often very difficult to their female subordinates. Perhaps when they feel truly equal in the workplace, they won’t feel threatened by other women.
    nice work
    conspicuously devoid of rant ;o)

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  11. Hi, I happened upon your blog totally by chance and read it out of curiosity. I think you are very right in your ideas. I am pretty sure that most women enjoy being looked at and even thought of sexually. If it were not true Victoria’s Secret would not be in business. I also pay attention and do notice that women almost always want to know if you are looking at them. What I think is happening is that our culture is struggling to figure out just how to be with one another now that the rules we thought were firm are dissolving. Since I come from an older generation, I have noticed how much has changed in the past 60 years. It used to be that the only place you saw a lingerie ad was in the Sears catalog, which I perused diligently as a young lad. Now of course it is all readily available on the internet, anything you want, up to and including willing partners in just about anything you care to name. Kudos to you for saying what is real.

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