communication


relentless200715.jpg Communication with my partner has always been a huge hurdle for me. In the past I always had relationships with men who were quick with their vocabulary in arguments. I, on the other hand always stumble on spoken words. I’d have plenty to say but the words would never just flow out naturally. Definitely one of my weaker points. I always felt attacked and would withdraw. For the first time ever, I am able to communicate with the man in my life. What has changed?

I don’t really see much difference in who I am now in comparison to who I was in the last relationships I’ve had, but something is very different. I guess it’s something inside me that has grown stronger over the last 18 months of single-motherhood. It’s much harder to intimidate me now. I know what makes me happy and what doesn’t and I don’t let people talk me into or intimidate me into something I don’t want for myself. I say no when my gut tells me to say no. I say yes when I know it’s a definite yes. And if I’m unsure I know it’s alright to say so.

I’ve always been very good at communicating in writing or over the phone. My first real job was at the phone company and I dealt with close to a hundred calls a day. It helped me hone in on how to control the caller without them ever knowing it. My gift of writing came from my mother. She always had just the right combination of words to get her point across on paper. She only recently discovered my writing skills and her tear-filled phone conversation we had spoke volumes about her pride in me. She didn’t have to tell me she is proud, I could hear it in her crackly voice. It’s nice to be noticed by her for something good I’ve done.

When I meet someone new I can usually get a good sense of their demeanor and I like to imagine how I’d get along with that person on a more personal, day-to-day basis. Our communication is most important. In the past, I always let him lead when I should have been the one to lead me. In my relationship now, I am leading me. He is leading himself. We compromise. We talk to one another. He listens. I listen. We still disagree on things but at least I don’t feel as if I will be belittled if I speak my mind. Now I have to work on my stubbornness. He’s also just as stubborn, and like me, will sacrifice the relationship if it’s something he feels strongly about. Luckily our eyes are wide open to it.

Anyway, speaking of communication. I need to apologize to some of you who sent me e-mails that I never replied to. I have 150 e-mails right now that I saved so that I could go back & reply to because they touched my heart and wanted to let the writer know. But I haven’t yet and I’m sorry. I still plan to, so that e-mail you sent 2 months ago may show up as my reply soon! I wouldn’t suggest holding your breath for too long though. :o)

8 Comments

  1. Communication within a relationship assumes that both parties are willing to compromise (at least a bit).

    I like to think that partners should make decisions on what’s best for the relationship, and try to keep egos out of it. Sending my wife back to school was best for the long-term, and now she’s addicted.

    Support your partner in their dreams. Opposites tend to attract, so value the difference in viewpoint as another input to the decision.

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  2. what i took from your recent post is that your level of self realization and that it is growing. awareness is a key part of life.

    good luck. see ya on awc.

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  3. Well said; it’s amazing to me that men and women can hear the same thing said by the same person at the same time and walk away with two different ideas of what was said. I think what people forget to do is to put their ego/prejudices/agendas aside. Might be surprised what they’ll hear if they do !

    Hope you’re having a great weekend; greetings from MD

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  4. You and i will always butt heads my love and we will always work our way through it because of our love for each other. I have never gave into anything until I met you. You have opened my heart and let me know what love really is. Its giving in when i feel it will make you happy and feeling good about it. Thank you for being who you are. I love every bit of you.

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  5. i seen you on Jm you are a very good writer i like your communication story hope you write alot more good luck from kidace360ply have a good day

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  6. Hey relent..
    Sending u greetings from Montenegro. Its 42 degrees celcius and really hot.
    Will be back on JM soon to do some pervin :-0
    Take care and big hugs
    Racoon

    Like

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