Time wasted

I am a 34 year old single mother. Still not divorced and it’s creeping up on the 2 year mark. When I decided to end my marriage I had certain goals and ideas in my mind for when I was ‘free’. Most of them I’ve accomplished already. I have a couple still left undone. I am the worlds biggest procrastinator. I am so pleasure driven that it’s actually hard for me to concentrate without some sort of mental satisfaction. I believe that’s why I chat online as much as I do. Add agoraphobia to that and up sprouts an addiction.

 Haha! The Royal Couple

I admit that I spend (have spent) far too much time chatting. Only recently have I gotten into a more structured daily schedule (but please don’t base my statement on the picture above, lmao). Hepa inspired me to look at somethings differently and in turn, they were a positive change for me. But that still leaves me my addiction which I imagine over time will dwindle away. But it’ll never be gone completely. I enjoy getting to know people too much to go cold turkey for good.  

I’ve really wasted a lot of time chatting but then again it was what I wanted to do. I’ve had some of the best laughs in chat that I ever had. I’ve also cried alot over it and that’s just plain crazy. I realize that I grew way too close to these people online when most of them, if not all are just characters they’ve created so as to entertain themselves. I’ve haven’t met many that are genuine online nor did I expect to. I also didn’t expect how cruel some people can be when there’s no real good reason for it. At least not one that I have been made aware of. 

I am just me. I don’t pretend to be someone I am not. I don’t ask anyone to come talk to me in the chat rooms, I don’t beg for people to compliment me. It just happens. I am always respectful unless I am disrespected. I have never initiated a brawl. I have only stood my ground. If I treated everyone half as badly as I am treated well…maybe I would be more liked by everyone. But that’s not me. I am not a bitch because it’ll draw a crowd. I am just me. 

So! If I have offended anyone with my thoughts and opinions, my apologies. Oh and, a suggestion for all humans, when you have a problem with someone it’s typically better if you go and actually talk to that person about it. Maybe they don’t even know that YOU are upset. If I don’t know someone is upset with me I go on about my business as if all is well! Don’t you?

Feels good to write again…