s a c r i f i c e


I’m really tired. I’m afraid to think. It hurts too much. I don’t want to make any more decisions. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to remember. I don’t want a new day to come. I don’t want today to end. I don’t want my children to leave me. I don’t want to open my mail or answer my phone. I don’t want to see any new flowers in my yard. I want to hold onto you and never let go. I want you to hold on & let me cry hard and not say a word because all the words have already been said. I want to lay still and just feel the void. I want you to hold me tight. I want you to listen to my story. I want to watch you feel my words. I want to see your reaction to what is in my mind. I don’t want to feel that I’ve said too much because I see you’re in pain. It’s my pain I see you feel. I want you to understand. I don’t know why. I want answers. Because I can’t find the answers myself. If you feel my thoughts deeply, just as I feel them, your mind may have an answer I need. Then I can let go. But I don’t want to ever let you go. I know my mind will never let go of you. You will never understand. No one wants to understand. I don’t understand. I’m so sorry. Maybe you had the answer. Maybe you still do. I’m listening.  

2 Comments

  1. Forever together. I can’t even start to understand. I know that you have taught me that everything happens for a reason. I also know that God is real and that with him is the best place anybody can be. My shoulder is your shoulder. Our pain is so deep that only time and love will heal.

    I love you.

    Like

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