I’m really tired. I’m afraid to think. It hurts too much. I don’t want to make any more decisions. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to remember. I don’t want a new day to come. I don’t want today to end. I don’t want my children to leave me. I don’t want to open my mail or answer my phone. I don’t want to see any new flowers in my yard. I want to hold onto you and never let go. I want you to hold on & let me cry hard and not say a word because all the words have already been said. I want to lay still and just feel the void. I want you to hold me tight. I want you to listen to my story. I want to watch you feel my words. I want to see your reaction to what is in my mind. I don’t want to feel that I’ve said too much because I see you’re in pain. It’s my pain I see you feel. I want you to understand. I don’t know why. I want answers. Because I can’t find the answers myself. If you feel my thoughts deeply, just as I feel them, your mind may have an answer I need. Then I can let go. But I don’t want to ever let you go. I know my mind will never let go of you. You will never understand. No one wants to understand. I don’t understand. I’m so sorry. Maybe you had the answer. Maybe you still do. I’m listening.