we’re gonna play house

Shack-up. Cohabit. Share address. Room together.

Whatever you call it, hepa and I decided to do it.

I have spent the last 6 months thinking about living with him. I went back & forth with my decision several times. I almost had to say goodbye to him forever because I just didn’t feel ready to take that step. I took for granted what I truly felt for him in my heart and listened to others’ opinions about a decision that should be entirely mine. I need to live my life the way destiny intended. Everything happens for a reason.

I decided to ask him to move in because I realized, having gone through one of the toughest times of my life a few weeks ago, he really is devoted to us and will do anything to keep our relationship strong & healthy. He was there for me 100% when no one else was. I don’t want anyone else – just him.

This is the first time in a relationship where I have been able to just be me. I am not ashamed of who I am. I am not afraid of doing what I want. I am not afraid of saying what I want. I refuse to ever be in a relationship where I can’t just be me. He understands my fear about us living together. So we already agreed that if it doesn’t work out – we’ll just deal with it and move on. We’re not going to be miserable trying to work it out for all eternity. I’ve come to a point in my life where I feel I can trust myself enough to know when it’s time to call it quits. Unlike how I dealt with my marriage, having it take about 7 years to finally have the strength to end it. I wonder though…is it wrong of me to even discuss the ‘what if’s’  if we just don’t work well living together? I guess it doesn’t really matter, I already threw it out there. I’m bad about that…I have a hard time placing myself in someone’s shoes that bares the brunt of my big mouth sometime’s.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Enigmatik says:

    Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

    I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, everyday, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success. I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again. I will walk where failures fear to walk. I will work when failures seek rest. I will act now for now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labors of the hopeless. I have hope. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure. I will act now. My happiness will not wait. If I delay, that happiness will become wed to another and lost to me forever. This is my time. This is my place. I am the person.

    TC my friends



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