Why do I even bother?

I have a very hard time verbally describing my feelings. If the person I try describing them to has no patience and becomes defensive towards me then I shut down. There’s no reason to try to even continue after that. I won’t be able to put anything together & have it make sense.

How fucking hard is it to understand “I’m feeling like you don’t care about me like you used to”? Or, “you hurt my feelings”?

I heard something recently that made a lot of sense to me. It was some psychiatrist and she was discussing relationships. A woman asked her how do you know if you are with the right person? She said, “you’ll know because you won’t ever question their loyalty, you’ll just naturally trust them because they will always do the things you need without ever having to say anything to them, they’ll call all the time, they’ll ask the right questions and you’ll never have that anxious feeling (the one ya get when you think they’re cheating because they ARE cheating) with them ever, you won’t ever question their love for you”.

If it’s just that simple, why can’t it be just as simple to accept it and move on?

2 responses to “Why do I even bother?”

  1. Hey D, it continues to amaze me how much we are alike! I can write all day and all night but when confronted face to face I’m the proverbial deer in the head lights!


  2. You kill me!!!!!! Please stop putting my life out there for everybody to read. I don’t need the world to tell me I am ok or not. Your really good at thinking something up and making it a reality for yourself. ( (the one ya get when you think they’re cheating because they ARE cheating) That is so far off. I have proven my love for you over and over but its just not enough for you. I don’t think that there is anybody out there that can satisfy someone that goes by the name relentless. God knows that i’ve tried. So you do what you have to do. I have a six year old son that I have to look after. I can’t just drop everything and run to you because you want me to. And one more thing. Please keep the kids out of this. I have done nothing to hurt them i love them as much as i do you and my own.


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