birthday


Well, I woke up this morning and served myself a double helping of humble pie with a number 35 birthday candle on it. I ate it alone. Swallowing each dry bite as quickly as I could. I ignored the ringing phones. I pretended to not hear the knocks at the door. I just wanted to consume every last bitter morsel. The messages and greetings are wonderful but birthdays are no longer worth celebrating in the way I’d grown accustomed to.

Families celebrate birthdays. I don’t have one of those anymore. Everyone that made up my family structure is gone now. So I celebrate in my own way, alone. You don’t realize how much a family means until you lose the one you have and once that’s gone there’s no recreating it again. Memories will always be sweeter than todays dry, bitter reality. I wish there were other ways of learning these lessons without having to lose everything like I have. So, happy birthday to me. I got everything I asked for and more. Does anyone want the rest of this pie?

7 thoughts on “birthday

  1. Hey You,

    Said the Happy Birthday thing. Even heard the song 😉

    I’ll do something very unusual for me and bite my tongue rather than make a redundant comment on your post. You know exactly what I’d say so no need to air it. Other than to say I’m sorry that you can’t find it in yourself to enjoy your Birthday.

    Head up! Chest out & stay strong! You’ve made it this far and you’re getting ever closer to the front seat of that special bus.

    TC

    E

    Like

  2. Not that I believe that friends can take the place of family… but one of the best Christmas’s (sp?) was with friends I had went to high school with in a bar back in 02. Pie is good. Not meant to be shared though. Ima kind of person that eats pie, not pieces of pie. Don’t forget to smile every once in a while though. If for no other reason to look mischevious!

    Like

  3. Happy birthday gorgeous! I’m sorry your down on this the aniversery of your arrival in this world. I have enjoyed your company, limited by the web of course, since our meeting.

    My best to you!

    Like

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