Well, I woke up this morning and served myself a double helping of humble pie with a number 35 birthday candle on it. I ate it alone. Swallowing each dry bite as quickly as I could. I ignored the ringing phones. I pretended to not hear the knocks at the door. I just wanted to consume every last bitter morsel. The messages and greetings are wonderful but birthdays are no longer worth celebrating in the way I’d grown accustomed to.
Families celebrate birthdays. I don’t have one of those anymore. Everyone that made up my family structure is gone now. So I celebrate in my own way, alone. You don’t realize how much a family means until you lose the one you have and once that’s gone there’s no recreating it again. Memories will always be sweeter than todays dry, bitter reality. I wish there were other ways of learning these lessons without having to lose everything like I have. So, happy birthday to me. I got everything I asked for and more. Does anyone want the rest of this pie?