Double Standard


Ok, so there’s this couple…

They have been together about 2 years. They live an hour away from one another and only see each other on the weekends. During the week, they use their webcams to chat to each other to stay connected…but they also use their webcams to chat with other people as well. Is it wrong if she allows other men to view her cam while in a chat room? Men tend to say things to her that she normally would not hear in a bar or at the grocery store and sometimes she does things that she wouldn’t do in public on the webcam for the thrill of it. Is that something you would allow your woman to do with or without you watching?

On the other side of it, he loves to watch other women. Makes those comments to them that his girlfriend sees said about her. Also enjoys being watched. But doesn’t want anyone to watch his woman.

What is the right answer?

Should she stop what she’s doing and only allow him to view her on the cam? Should she censor her cam to appease him? If so, then shouldn’t he not be allowed to view other women on cam? If she can’t allow other men to look, then he shouldn’t be allowed to look at other women?

She doesn’t care, and actually enjoys if he is watched by others.

It’s tough having a relationship with someone on line and in real life because it’s too easy to just vanish during a heated conversation, leaving the other person to rot in their thoughts alone. You also have serious troubles with trust. People on line can be easy come easy go. You don’t have the face to face interaction and are less likely to become emotionally and physically dependent on their presence in your life. A person that doesn’t recognize that those things are a part of their online relationship, because they also have a real-life relationship together too, will make mistakes and take things for granted with the online relationship and it will foul their real-life bond. If their intent is pure for each other, it will work.

So, cam or no cam? Please vote.

11 thoughts on “Double Standard

  1. I have been reading your blog on Word Press off and on for several years now. I first saw you on Jmeeting and that gave me the link to your blog. Of late I have not been able to find your blog on Word Press. You are a gifted writer and I have enjoyed reading everything that you have written. I am also so impressed with your presents the few time I have seen you on JM. You are a beautiful woman and I think well above average in intelligence. The Last I read Hepa was unhappy with your appearance’s on JM. As far as I concerned I is a lucky guy to have you in his life. I can’t see where he has any right to censure you activities. Hell if I were Hepa I would be there letting people know that they can look all they want but at the end of the week that beauty is with me.I’m sure you would not allow your girls to be treated that way by any male that comes into there life. It’s up to you to set the example. As a single parent I raised my daughter from the age of 10 months and believe me she would not have put up with that kind of nonsense. She is 23 now married and has a very good career. My first grandchild is due in May and if it is a girl I’m sure she to will be raised to value her independence. Relentless you are an amazing woman and you do deserve better. I hope you learn to get past whatever issues have caused you to make poor decisions when it come to men who would control your life.

    If I lived anywhere near the bay area I would have sought you out a long time ago and had a real heart to heart with you.

    I wish you the best and am looking for a lady that has what you have. Brains, beauty and determination.
    D M

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  2. tough question… I’ve never approved of double standards myself. On the other hand, having been on cam sites, its no suprise that an issue such as this would come up. To be fair, I see three options: A. both cams stay totally uncensored. B. any public camming stays g-rated and x rated camming is done in private. or C. no public camming at all. Now, as for which option is the best, thats not for me to say, thats between your friend and her man. Hopefully your friend and her man will reach a solution that works well for both of them. good luck to them both

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  3. I did see one time where this guy had a quote on his page that said “Do onto others as you would want done…” I think that’s like saying treat others as you’d want to be treated. Sound fair?

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  4. In case i’ve sent it to the wrong addy….

    “The Man in the glass”

    when you get what you want in your struggle for self
    and the world makes you king for the day

    just go to the mirror and look at yourself
    see what that man has to say

    for it isn’t your father, your mother or wife
    whose judgent upon you must pass

    the fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
    is the one staring back from the glass

    some people might think you’re a straight shooting chum
    and call you a wonderful guy

    but the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
    if you can’t look him right in the eye

    he’s the fellow to please never mind all the rest
    for he’s with you clear up to the end

    and you’ve passed your most dangerous…difficult test
    if the man in the glass is your friend

    you may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
    and get pats on the back as you pass

    but your final reward will be heartaches and tears
    if you’ve cheated the man in the glass

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  5. Any relationship must face that fork in the road…where trust enters the relationship and both must make a choice…asking one side to quit doing what the other is doing seems the very example of a jealous control response…Has the relationship reached the point where exclusivity is the norm…or has the relationship developed the need of outside influences which says more about where the relationship is not going……in the perfect world….(which this world is not)…two people who want to be in an relationship are exclusive…not seeking that stimulous…but the question of trust remains…if i trust the other no matter what…then other influences will never matter..my faith will prove it either way.

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  6. I sent you a poem called “the man in the glass”…. I believe this friend of yours should read it and make her decision on what the poem is all about… If you need another copy… I know it by heart… I’ll be glad to send it to you again…

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    1. No no no…it’s a friend of mine. She asked me to see if I could get her others’ opinions about the subject. Honest! 😉

      It’s very hard to get an unbiased opinion. I like to think the readers answer this one as if it were them and their girl in this situation and not ummmm, my friend. I wonder if the statistics would be very different if this question was posed to the general public that had no experience with webcamming at all.

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  7. I believe that there shouldn’t be any form of double standards in relationships. It’s too clich’e to say what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, but I think unless it’s agreed upon from the beginning that one person is allowed more of a right than the other it’s totally unfair. I don’t think it’d be considered childish or anything of the like… it could be flattering that someone would be “selfish” enough to not want to share, though it could get old and tiring as well.

    I say Cam away! Unless an equal compromise is agreed upon someone is probably going to be left feeling belittled with restraint. Nobody really enjoys these types of restraint. I know I wouldn’t.

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