c e n s o r s h i p

My open mind about sex often gets me labeled easy or slutty. The label always comes from those who don’t know me well and base their opinion on what comes out of my mouth. Just because I am comfortable with the topic and won’t judge others for their preferences doesn’t mean I have done it all with everyone. I thought I’d try to blame it on me being in my sexual prime but I did some research online and found that a womans sexual prime is a myth. I guess I just have to assume I was raised this way. Although, my sex talk consisted of mom describing to me that oral sex was when he “chews” on you and/or you “chew” on him, I wasn’t made aware of much through mom or dad. The general message I remember is sex is disgusting but dad and mom did it with lots of people before they met one another.

My mom is very open about it now. Although she doesn’t use details often about her & my dad – she is more bold than any other woman I’ve ever known. Besides me. I guess it’s all in the persons upbringing and what they were taught that either makes sexually open women earn the oh so lovely tag of being loose. What I wonder is, are there any ways to find out what the majority/minority of women categorize themselves as and what category our peers would put us in.

Anyhow, I love to write about things I’ve done, things I would like to do and things that just don’t do anything for me with regard to sex. But I find myself worrying as I write out some socially unacceptable sexual scenario in a public forum like this because I know my tastes are not your everyday fantasies. I am afraid of telling too much and regretting it because of the label I will be stuck with. I know in my heart & soul who I am and I am confident about being me. But why does that little warning signal go off when I’m writing out something I get off to knowing people will read it. Why do I even care if a bunch of strangers think poorly of me?

I guess it all comes down to respect. I feel that if I talk/write a certain way I may lose the respect of some people. Have I lost respect for myself? I know I don’t feel very highly of myself right now. But I do respect me. If I have respect for who I am should that be the only thing that matters?


3 responses to “c e n s o r s h i p”

  1. I believe… honestly… that the ability to share what you have shared with us, with the world… it shows that you are a strong person. Strong willed. Bold even.

    Even though you and I have differing points of views.. I admire your character. It is genuinely admirable. I believe those traits are traits that would, will, have or has made you successful.

    I’m sure everyone has a vice that other people would get hung up on. A lot of people would deal with it with reservation. You genuinely are relentless.

    And that makes you awesome. Keep smiling…


  2. You are unquestionably one of the most intriguing people that I have stumbled upon during my online journeys. I look forward to your writing – and I always hold out a hope that you and I will connect on a more regular and more varied basis. As to the posting of your sexual experiences and perspectives, I am mesmorized by your ability to be blunt and straightforward but threaded with compassion and humility. I am always glad to read about them – and wish that we had a chance to be interactive about them. It seems to me that the more you reveal yourself the better chance I have in learning more about me. Let’s talk soon.


  3. You are unquestionable the most intriguing person I have stumbled upon in my internet journeys. I love your candor and bluntness – yet it is so flavored with a genuine care and humility. I always look forward to your comments in here – and I always hope that the day will come when we can connect more often and in more varied places. As for your revelations of your thoughts and experiences of your sexuality, I am mesmorized at the things you share and I thirst for more. It seems to me that the more you reveal of yourself the more I have a chance of understanding me as well.


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