I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Too much. So much so that I’ve decided to talk to a professional about it. That’s a good thing. I always do better in life when I’m able to talk about what’s on my mind. But until I can get to that appointment this week, I need to vent.
It’s no secret that I’ve been estranged from my extended family as well as my immediate family (my children excluded) since my Father died almost 14 years ago. Well, with my mom passing away almost 3 weeks ago, I’ve been thrust head first into situations that have brought me to have to socialize with the people that call themselves family. A few days before my mom died, my cousin reached out to me on facebook and we had what I considered a good conversation with her there. Just this past weekend, my only sibling had a celebration of life gathering at his house for my mom and invited everyone but me & my children. I wasn’t even told it was happening. I had a gut feeling that it had occurred when I saw something posted on facebook…so I messaged my cousin to ask. And she confirmed it.
Now, it’s one thing to not be invited to your own mothers funeral, it’s an entirely different thing for your sibling to spread lies & hate about me & my girls. Obviously the whole family believes what he said about us because no one called me to tell me what was going on or what was being said. My cousin basically said that I should just cut ties and walk away with my head held high and make myself a new life now. What the fuck? Seriously, I can’t say enough, that I’ve done nothing, whatsoever, to warrant this but I have no problem cutting all ties, in fact, that estranged from my family comment at the beginning of this post, kinda proves I already have cut ties & walked away. How much more can a person cut ties? Oh well, I guess I could unfriend all my “family” on facebook. That would be the last tie…and I think I will. I already restrict all of them to only seeing a very limited amount of my stuff anyways, so who cares. Anyhow, I really don’t understand why my sibling hates my guts and I really don’t care anymore. I have tried for 30+ years to be friends with him and now that mom & dad aren’t there to please, it’s time to please me.
It’s all a bunch of hoopla that some people thrive on & I just don’t. And won’t.