Doubt


Why does doubt sink in like it does to me? Why lately have I started to see myself differently? I know I am my worst critic but lately I’ve been doubly hard on myself. Have I really changed that quickly that it’s noticeable even to me? I’m starting to understand why women over 40 end up wanting a tune up. Everything seems a little softer to me lately. So much so that I’ve actually thought about exercising. Which is not like me at all. I don’t want to be all washed up and flabby. I know I can change it but the question is will I? I’m the type that will end up beating myself up over it & never doing anything about it which will lead to it getting worse. That will just cause a snowball affect. Depression. Flab. More depression. More flab. I need to not doubt myself. I need to see myself the way others see me. The flaws I see seem to be marks of beauty to others. I’m not judgmental of others, why do I judge me so harshly? I am beautiful on the inside. Why do I feel so ugly on the outside? That hurts me inside. I’m just down right now. Not feeling worthy of love or adoration. I need to do something good for me to pick myself back up before all I see is just more flab. 🙂 Happy weekend everyone. 

The Holidays


I was alone for the majority of the Thanksgiving Holiday last week. I didn’t really mind it but I did feel a bit sad that I had no one there to spend it with. I know I could have accepted one of the invitations I received but I just wasn’t in the mood to spend the day with someone else’s family. I did have a meal with my daughters, although none of us cooked it. We decided just to go out and let someone else do the cooking, in honor of my mom, who disliked cooking and would have eaten out for every meal, everyday if she could have. 

I did get a lot done around my house though. And had a chance to enjoy myself as company which lately, seems to be the norm for me. I don’t mind me at all. I’m really usually the only one who thinks my jokes are funny anyways. Image