One year later


The last few days I’ve felt short bursts of sadness come out of nowhere. Yesterday alone I cried a half dozen times. I have been watching the calendar and counting the days all year and it still kind of snuck up on me that it’s been a year since my mom died. A year today.

Even after I pulled my mail from my mailbox and opened a card from my Aunt, it still didn’t really register what the card was for. I thought it was just her thoughtful gesture of mailing a card now & then just to let me know she’s thinking of me. But this time, the card wasn’t delivering a birthday wish to anyone in the house. It was a simple message to say she’s thinking of her sister and misses her too. And that she hopes I have faith and I’m holding on tight through this rough time in my life.

It finally clicked. It’s been a year. And I started to cry.

I remembered how helpless she was in her final days and how vulnerable and fragile she seemed. I missed holding her hand and feeling her soft warm skin in mine. I missed being there whispering to her about how I love her and that I didn’t want to say goodbye yet. I wished I didn’t have to be strong, I wanted her to hold me and make the pain go away. But I had to be strong and help her to make her pain go away.

 

One response to “One year later”

  1. Your message from your aunt, as she talked about her sister . . .
    Your being strong as your Mom started her journey to Heaven . . .
    Remember,she may have been with her Mom, when she passed . .
    You remembering being with her . . . .
    All of these things are . . . “Circles of Love”.
    You have the most love to give and share . . . don’t rush . . .
    You daughter feels your love – she knew you were with your Mom . . .
    She will be with you . . . when you get your wings . . .
    “Circles of Love” “Circles of Love” “Circles of Love”

    George. .

    Like

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