r e l e n t l e s s

sensible exploration

Peace and Happiness


I just have to say that I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what happens, as long as my girls are happy, then I’m happy. I don’t care who you are or what you have or don’t have, money won’t bring peace and happiness unless you’ve already found peace and happiness inside you.

I don’t trust people. I trust me. I spent the day by myself on my boat thinking about a lot of things. Thinking about what’s important to me and what isn’t. Thought a lot about my parents and my childhood with them and my adulthood with my exhusband and my children. I thought about the so-called friends I have and where I am in life. I thought about how I treat people and what I do that makes me feel good inside and why. I thought about the people and things that hurt me and I thought about how to let the hurt go. I thought about where I’ve been and where I am in relation to that. I thought about what I really want and what I’m willing to do to get it. I just want peace and happiness. I don’t want to need anyone. I don’t want to miss anyone. I don’t want to regret anything. I want only to do what I need to do for my girls and for me so we are a solid strong unit. I don’t want weak people in my life and I don’t want people that make me question myself in my life. I think that’s all pretty standard shit and not impossible to achieve. Above all, I don’t want anything to do with people that lie or steal or use. I don’t bring that shit to the table so stay the fuck away from my table if you do. Right? That’s why I’ve made it my mission to really evaluate who is anywhere near my world lately. I have cut ties with so many and will be cutting ties with more. I always thought it would be hard but really it’s been easier than I imagined. Life is much easier without the drama and bullshit those people bring on. I have me. And I’m good. Happy & at peace! And always a work in progress.

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3 responses to “Peace and Happiness”

  1. Ron McCarty Avatar
    Ron McCarty

    What George had said, ‘Share with Girls’.

    I often sit back ( in a boat also, but a row boat 😉 ) looking at where I am now in my life and realize that every single event in years past has made my life what it is today.
    For a very long time I relived the past years thinking that I made some very horrible choices and that I should have lived life differently. ( I do wish I had my 30’s back)
    It took me a very long time to acknowledge that you cannot regret your decisions and actions and that if you had the chance to do them over again, you could never replicate your current life by changing them. Over the last few years, something clicked and I finally realized that the most important thing in life is to never settle for less than you deserve. And you only deserve the best.

    It is so easy to settle on someone you aren’t 100% happy with. I’ve done it and chances are you have too. It’s the pain of going through relationships, growing up and learning what you really want to be happy in life. No one is perfect but everyone is perfect in someone else’s eyes. You just have to find that person. In the meantime, never settle.

    My issues with long lasting relationships have always been financially. I am single never married and no children. I grew up poor and never wanted to bring a child up in a similar circumstances. At the age of 50 and reflecting back, like you have been, I realize I wouldn’t have changed a thing because it has made me grow in so many ways. I am not sad like I was during my 30’s.
    It’s taken me a long time but I am finding more peace and happiness. Doesn’t mean life still isn’t a struggle for me but I believe I understand the road that I am on and starting to see the marker’s.

    So, was Nietzsche right: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? 🙂

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    1. r e l e n t l e s s Avatar
      r e l e n t l e s s

      Thank you. I don’t have people like you in my life that make me just feel normal. I appreciate your opinion and insight. There’s something about the internet that makes it easier for me to be honest about my feelings and thoughts. In real life, I make a lot of enemies because of my openness and honesty. People don’t like to hear it. They don’t like to be faced with their own lies I suppose. Or maybe, they’re own reality? I’m glad that you took the time to write me and let me know your take of this. I don’t feel so unique with this stuff and that’s a good thing. For sure. Thank you. 🙂

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  2. George Avatar
    George

    Everything that you said – needs to be shared with your girls.

    They will learn from it – love you for it –

    They will probably say “Damn, Mom’s got it together” ! 🙂

    George

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