My choices have brought me to where I am in life. Circumstances gave me options. I have always been the one that tends to side with my heart. Just that alone has gotten me into many situations that could have had better outcomes than they did. I’m thankful for my fragile heart but it’s just that; fragile. I’m constantly on the defense, trying to protect myself from the people that do nothing but seem to hurt me. I give too much. I say too much. I open up too much and I’ve never gained anything from it but trouble. I’ve been warned, many times, about this horrible and damaging trait of mine. The warnings fell on my stubborn, deaf ears up until now. I won’t ignore the truth anymore. And I won’t allow the lies to define my life either. The truth shall set you free. I can no longer sit back and do nothing. No one will ever create my life for me. No one will ever love me the way I need. Only I can do that for myself. I appreciate the ones that have truly cared enough about me to tell me the honest, painful truth. Even though I most likely lashed out at you or turned against you and shut you out completely, your message was still heard and internalized by me. I see now the importance of your efforts and the Hell I must have put you through just so I would listen will not be in vain. I will do the right thing. For you. And for me. I know you care. Very much. For me. And it hurts that its come down to this for me to see finally. Humbling is such an innocent sounding word but it’s got a huge path to its definition. To say I’m humbled is only the beginning. I’m scared. I’m scarred. I’m broken and stuck, just for now. I am strong though. And I’m able to see my future. My goals. My real self. I can’t and won’t accept anything but what is good and right for me. And I don’t and won’t care how it affects anyone else. If you don’t agree with what I am doing, get out of my way. There is nothing else to even discuss. I’m sorry, have a nice life. Goodbye. That’s the way it goes. No more crap.
Feels good.
That’s about it for now.
Thanks for reading!
To be honest I think it’s difficult to fundamental change who you are. If you are a caring, giving, honest person, it’s not going to be easy change that overnight, if at all. What you should remember is, there are some amazing people out there, but at some point you have to say to yourself, yes this person gives me some joy but is it worth it? Are they worthy of MY time.
We are all allowed to make mistakes too. Our judgement can be clouded by any number of external things that, might make us more vulnerable to making poor decisions about people, or life choices. They hurt those mistakes, but they happen to us all. You are right though, what can make them far more difficult is a fragile heart, but that too is an fundamental part of who you are.
In essence, understand who are the ones that give you joy. Be who you are, but understand that sometimes you aren’t going to get things right and don’t give up potentially making mistakes as, without taking chances you may miss a significant opportunity.
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Thank you for your comment.
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