Already November


It’s November again already?! I walked into the hardware store tonight and they had all their Christmas decorations out on display already. Time goes by so fast. It scares the shit out of me. I don’t want life to race by anymore. I am happy being alive. I feel like I haven’t even figured out what I’m going to be when I grow up yet. Haha!

I know what I want to be. Just me.

It seems silly to continue to try to convince anyone who this guy was. The DNA, if they actually have some to compare to, will eventually lead them to me. Now I just feel like I should educate myself as best as I can by listening to these tapes. It’s rather entertaining. It’s a psychologists dream, I imagine. The conversations are candid as far as the callers side, but he knows he is recording every word and toys with the person on the line. You can hear it in his voice. He is very conscious of his words so I am skeptical that any real confession happens. He does flirt with admitting to guilt but ends up saying “I’m only kidding”. She starts to joke in the same manner, but in her voice, you can hear that she really believes it’s a joke. She mocks him and it throws him off a bit. He comes back with something very discriminating against her and women in general. Anyways, I’m looking forward to putting these tapes into digital format. Itll be much easier to organize and share. So sometime after November 6th, I will be adding some audio clips here. Just for fun. I knew this would consume my life someday when I actually made the time to tell his story. Even if he isn’t who I firmly believe he is, he is still very interesting to me and I know in my heart he would be flattered that I believed in him enough to honor him still to this day, even though he was such a strange and mean, old, bitter man. I knew a different side of him.

On another note, I don’t know if you all know this, but I have these two goats. I got them when they were only 3 days old. Which meant bottle feeding them until they were 5 months old or so. They’re about 8 months old now. The male has become this 250 pound, smelly, mean buck. The female is already pregnant. I’m not even sure that they weren’t siblings. I’m just hoping the baby isn’t deformed or something. Anyway, yesterday I went to visit them in the bottom pasture. They are always so happy to see me coming. She loves to have her back scratched. She’ll stand still all day while I scratch her back. He just tries to pee on me when I try to scratch his back. I’ve been struggling with his bad behavior now for a few months. He tries to stop me from leading them anywhere. At first he would just jump in front of me but he was small enough for me to move him out of my way. Well, hes become a massive animal with 20 inch horns now that he knows how to use. Last week, I was down with them, like I normally do and he tries to stop me in my path by trotting ahead of me and turning quickly to face me, as if to challenge me. He puts his head down and I keep walking right into him. He attacks me back hard, so I use the water spray bottle as my defense but this time it doesn’t phase him. He charges me again and this time I knew him hard in his side but he isn’t backing down. He won’t let me move without attacking me so I had to grab him and hold him with all my strength to keep him from really hurting me. I finally got out of the pasture but I decided that I needed to have a better plan for the next time I am around him. So, I searched the internet and decided to try my pepper spray on him.

So yesterday, I go to visit them again and this time I bring some treats and my protection. I enter the pasture and go about my business, like I do. This time he wastes no time at attacking me again. I warned him once with the water then next he go the pepper spray right in the eye. At first I didn’t think it was going to work, but it did. He ran away and hid behind the barn so fast. I was able to walk anywhere I wanted to go after that. He didn’t come near me.

I felt horrible!

It bothered me all night. I was worried that it would do damage to his eyes. I worried that it would only make him worse.

But I can’t allow an animal, that I feed, to attack me. He is way too big and dangerous. He will cause someone some serious injuries if he isn’t kept in check.

Next, castration. And a cattle prod. Here’s a video I took shortly after he was sprayed. As you can see, he kept his distance. 🙂

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