Tag: Thoughts
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Woman vs. Women
In December I decided to take my best friend to a psychic to have our fortunes told for her birthday. She and I had wanted to do this since we were in high school. I always felt as if my husband wouldn’t allow me to do such a thing so this was one more thing […]
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4/21/2008: sibling rivalry
When I was born in 1973 my brother was going on ten. Mom & Dad owned and operated a small business in Oakland, California. We lived in a part of the San Francisco Bay Area that was considered more of a farming community at that time. Clean, quaint, friendly … normal. My Dad would commute […]
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open relationships
What exactly is an open relationship? My definition of ‘open relationship’ is there’s no commitment to any one person. So isn’t an open relationship the same thing as ‘friends with benefits’? In other words, if a person wants an open relationship he or she is a polygamist. And that word (for me) stirs all sorts […]
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FWB
FWB, Fuckbuddies, casual sex – whatever you want to call it. Basically having sex with a friend or acquaintance without the woes that come from a commitment to a ‘relationship’. Am I the only person that has a hard time with this type of arrangement? Being that it’s been a little over a year […]
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7 Years
When I was a little girl I would often have thoughts of losing one or both of my parents. I don’t mean in a grocery store. Since my parents had me quite late in life it was normal for them to be planning for the day they would die. But as a little girl, maybe […]
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l i a r
We’re all guilty of it. But the little white lies are not what I’m writing about. They’re the big lies. Cheating. Stealing. Who you are. What you do. Your sexuality and desires. I have lied in the past about some of these things. I’m just like everyone else. I tell myself, “I can’t admit to […]
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s e x u a l h a r a s s m e n t
A friend of mine was recently accused of sexually harassing a female coworker. Ultimately he got fired because of it. He maintains that he’s innocent. I have no reason not to believe him. During the ‘investigation’ stage when he was suspended from work until a conclusion was made, he & I talked over the phone […]
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L i f e I s C r u e l
I got married at 20. Bought my first home at 20. Had my first child at 22. Acquired my first corporation at 24. At 25 I went out dancing for the first time ever with my girl friend. I had NO IDEA what it was like out there. I never wanted to go home again! […]
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grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
It frustrates me to no end when my children call while they’re with their Dad and I can hear him in the background on his phone talking with his girlfriend the way he once talked to me. It’s frustrating when I hear what he talks to them about. Why does he have to discuss our […]
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f o r g i v e n e s s
Today is one of those days. Those days where you just don’t care anymore. Where you just want to take one last drive alone down the Pacific Coast highway and launch yourself off a cliff at 150 mph into the end. Yeah, I’m having one of those days. I just want to listen to sad […]
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t r a i t s
Traits for Finding a Lifelong Mate 1. Choose someone as though you were blind. Close your eyes and see what you can FEEL; their kindness, loyalty, insight, devotion, their ability to be concerned with you, their ability to care for themselves as an independent being. 2. Choose a person who has the ability to learn, […]
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Noooooooo! Not VD, again?!?
Ugh! Valentine’s Day. Here it is again. I will keep this as brief as I can. This day fills me with memories of disappointment and feelings of insignificance. It just reminds me that I don’t have a man in my life that’s going to take me out for a romantic […]
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a l o n e
After working on the division of our smaller assets for nearly two weeks we finally agreed on what he would take. I procrastinated for a year, dreading that list. But there it all was – listed out on my excel spreadsheet. All those memories we made together. Fifteen years. […]
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a 5-pack of Bic lighters
After 13 months devoted to this guy, this is what I get for a Christmas gift. This, a magazine rack and a bottle of red wine, personally signed by him! I realize we had a rough year but my fucking gawd, can a person be anymore insensitive? Only 2 weeks before he’d mentioned […]
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s k i n d e e p
Everyone is initially attracted to a person by their physical appearance. That initial lure can be very strong off of appearances only. I’ve always had the theory that women that go way overboard with their make-up, hair, big fake tits, clothes and accessories are shallow and superficial. They’re usually blondes and the rest of […]
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Authenticity
In my book of life… The chapter is closed. It’s a brand new day. My responsibilities to myself, to my children, to my employer are the background to my life. Taking care of me by removing the negative components that have tried to ruin me for the past thirteen months or so has been done. […]
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Que Sera Sera
Five days of trying to connect with him to move past-move forward-move on, I finally get him to stop long enough to tend to the wreckage. Allbeit Sunday morning, 2:30 am, there was no way I was sleeping anyway…I finally get my answers. I spent the hours prior to seeing him trying to compile questions […]
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Black Lace Dress
I think most women can relate to this… I have this black lace dress that was very expensive. I wore it once. I bought it for my trip with my boyfriend (at the time) to Canada. I take it with me when I travel now just in case I end up needing it. But […]
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20 Doors Down
Suburbia? Scraped up knees and secret rendezvous under the cover of darkness. Feeling the hard fireplace hearth as I rest my body there-puffing my cigarette, the heat radiating on my back from the flames, looking across the table into your eyes as you said those words a year ago, a feeling inside my chest like […]
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Christmas 2006
He & I have been having such a hard time. He’s been using what I’ve been up to as an excuse to not be with me. A few weeks before Christmas he & I decided that we would spend New Years Eve together…no matter what we ended up doing…we’d be together. I h e l […]
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